Sunday, March 26, 2017

How to transcend our self-imposed limitations in the pursuit of happiness is what artist Agnes Martin (March 22, 1912–December 16, 2004) wrote about:

Hold fast to your life, to beauty and happiness and inspiration, and to obedience to inspiration. Do not imitate others or seek advice anywhere except from your own mind. No-one can help you. No-one knows what your life should be. No-one knows what your life or life itself should be because it is in the process of being created.
Life moves according to a growing consciousness of life and is completely unpredictable.
If you live according to human knowledge, according to precept, values and standards, you live in the past.
If you live entirely in the past you will not know beauty or happiness and you will not in fact live.
You must believe in life. Believe that you can know the truth about life.
The current of the river of life moves us. Awareness of life, beauty and happiness is the current of the river.
With great awareness we move rapidly. With no awareness we do not move.

In this life, life is represented by beauty and happiness.
If you are completely unaware of them you are not alive.
The times when you are not aware of beauty and happiness you are not alive.

The measure of your life is the amount of beauty and happiness of which you are aware.



Friday, January 13, 2017

In Search of Kindness

BY OMID SAFI , COLUMNIST at ONBEING.ORG

Sometimes after having a heart-to-heart with friends, particularly friends who
are going through hard times, I think about the struggles they are undergoing,
the advice I have shared with them, and how I would take it into my own life.
Every now and then, this results in having a conversation with the younger
version of my own self.

These days it seems like most of my friends are struggling in relationships.
If they are in one, they are struggling. If they are not in one, they want to
be in one. Sometimes it seems like two groups are not struggling: the happily
married ones who have been together for over 30 years and the ones who are
still in the infatuation phase of relationships. That’s it. Everyone else
seems to be struggling, or not dealing with the challenges that are just under
the surface.

Seeing so much suffering around, and being asked to offer advice to others,
makes me want to go back to my younger self and have a journey with myself
about where I have been, what I have gone through, and the lessons of the
heart that I have learned. Or, to say more directly, I wish I had learned at
an earlier phase of life.

In earlier periods of life, there were times that I thought I knew what I was
looking for in a relationship. I often thought in terms of qualities the other
person would possess. I thought of compatibility in cultures. Coming from a
Persian background, I thought for a while it would be important to be with
someone who understood my culture, or at least understood my culture’s
importance to me. Seeking God on the path of Islam, for the longest time I
thought it would be key to be with someone who shared that spiritual
orientation. At times I thought of someone who understood how important my
family was to me, and would love a large, loving family. At times it was to
seek someone who shared my love of poetry, sacred music, and travel to faraway
exotic destinations.

I realize now that one of the mistakes I made back then — maybe
“mistake” is too harsh — a life lesson I had not learned yet was that I
continued to look for qualities in my partner. I needed to pay as much, if not
more, attention to my own growth.

And the truth of the matter is that each person brings out a different quality
in us. It’s almost like a musical symphony, where each person brings out
different “notes” in us. Some people bring out something in us that is
kind, generous, and loving. Others bring us qualities of frustration, anger,
and resentment. None of us is an island unto ourselves. We are all products of
a kind of alchemical interaction with each other. There is something beautiful
in being around people who bring out beautiful qualities in us. And yes, it is
true that there is a kind of growth that comes by people who “rub us” the
wrong way. It’s true, as Rumi said:

“If you are irritated by every rub,
how will your mirror be polished?”

Yes, sometimes to have people who give us opportunities to grow, to be
challenged, to even be shown our own rough edges, is lovely. But maybe, just
maybe, not as a life partner. Opposites do attract sometimes, but it’s not
necessarily a life plan for bliss and romance to go seeking after people who
are our opposites.

Back to the life partner part.

I am grateful for any and every encounter — yes, even the ones that left me
brokenhearted. Now I know that even the brokenness made me seek the healing.
We cannot seek water without thirst. And when I come across people who carry
their own pain and suffering — which is all of us, each and every single one
— having had my own pain makes it so much more real, more personal, more
immediate to sit with them and their pain. We are rarely more human than we
are when we see the suffering in one another.

But back to that advice for our younger selves. All of those other qualities I
looked for are beautiful in their own way, but if I could somehow go back, or
offer the insight of decades to others, it would be this. More so than similar
culture, religion, life experiences, education, number of children, like and
dislike of extended family, let us praise kindness.

Give me kindness above all else.
It is kindness that I would choose in the person to spend my life with.
Kindness in the love glances.
Kindness in the touch.
Kindness in the listening.
Kindness in understanding.

Kindness is love embodied, love that touches us as we would wish to be
touched.

May you, we, each of us, be embraced and welcomed into the kind embrace of a
kind friend, a kind lover, a kind beloved, a kind neighbor, a kind family.

The Prophet is said to have so cherished kindness that he said:

“Indeed,
everything that has kindness in it
is adorned by it.”

Let us be adorned by kindness.

Somewhere I read that to be part of mankind, humankind, takes… kindness.

Some languages even build that into their words. In Arabic and Persian we are
told that the concept of the insan (human being) is etymologically linked to
the word uns (intimacy).

Let us be human, become more fully human through this loving kindness, this
intimate experience of sharing kindness.
Let us praise kindness.

Let us seek kindness.
Let us cherish kindness.
Let us embrace kindness.
Let us radiate kindness.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Let Darkness be a Bell Tower - Rilke



"Let This Darkness be a Bell Tower"

Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,

what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.

In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.

And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.



Sonnets to Orpheus II, 29

Rainer Maria Rilke   (1875 – 1926)

Monday, March 7, 2016

Mind's power to heal

You Can Heal Yourself With Your Mind (For Real)
From multiple sclerosis to chronic pain to HIV, science is increasingly showing us that what’s in a patient’s head affects how the body heals.
I met Tunde Balogh at the Catholic pilgrimage site of Lourdes, France. The 37-year-old, originally from Hungary, had been diagnosed with breast cancer a year earlier but refused conventional treatment.
“They’d cut off my breast, I didn’t want to do that,” she told me. Instead, she felt the answer was inside her. She tried reiki, reflexology, and eventually German New Medicine, which teaches that cancer is caused by emotional conflict. But none of it worked; the cancer soon spread to her bones. By the time she made it to Lourdes, her only hope was a miracle cure.
Let’s be clear: Claims that the mind can heal aren’t harmless. When made in the absence of evidence they raise false hope, and if people reject conventional treatment they need, they can die. That includes cancer patients, but less dramatic cases risk lives, too. Homeopaths regularly caution parents not to vaccinate their children against potentially fatal childhood infections, for example, and advise travelers against conventional drugs toprotect against malaria.
Perhaps it’s not surprising, then, that skeptics react to any suggestion of healing thoughts as an evil threat to be stamped out, branding everything from placebo research to integrative medicine as “quackery.” But when researching my book, Cure: A Journey Into the Science of Mind Over Body, I came to the conclusion that this position isn’t supported by the science either. Although the mind isn’t a miracle cure—we will always need physical drugs and treatments—there is now overwhelming evidence that it drives biological changes that are crucial for physical health, influencing everything from pain to the immune system.
Our mental state has particularly dramatic effects when it comes to the symptoms we experience: things like pain, nausea, fatigue and depression. Playing a virtual-reality game eases pain in burn patients by as much as 50 percent (PDF) more than drugs alone, while research on placebos—fake treatments—tells us that psychological factors such as expectation and social interaction ease symptoms via biological changes very similar to those caused by drugs. Placebo painkillers trigger the release of natural pain-relieving chemicals called endorphins. Parkinson’s patients respond to placebos with a flood of needed dopamine. Breathing fake oxygen can reduce the levels of neurotransmitters called prostaglandins, which cause many of the symptoms of altitude sickness.
It might sound crazy that thoughts and expectations should have similar effects to drugs, but underlying many placebo responses is the simple principle that the symptoms we feel aren’t a direct, inevitable consequence of physical damage to the body. Such damage is important, of course, but ultimately our experience of it is created and controlled by the brain. If we feel stressed and alone, warning signals such as pain, fatigue, and nausea are amplified. If we feel safe and cared for (whether that means being surrounded by friends or receiving what we believe to be an effective medical treatment), our symptoms are eased.
This means that for many medical conditions, pouring ever more resources into physical drugs and interventions, while squeezing appointment times and cutting medical staff, may be counterproductive. One trial found that patients with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) had much greater relief from their symptoms if the practitioner was warm and empathic rather then cold but polite—regardless of the treatment they received. Similarly, patients with acid reflux disease did dramatically better after an extended (42-minute) consultation with a physician, compared with a standard (18-minute) visit. In situations from back pain (PDF) to childbirth, patient outcomes depend not just on what drugs are prescribed but on how that care is delivered.
But this isn’t all. Because the brain controls physiological functions from digestion to the immune system, the mind doesn’t simply determine our subjective experience; it can be relevant for the physical progression of disease, too. These processes aren’t generally under voluntary control; we can’t “wish” ourselves better. But we can influence them, particularly by modulating our response to stress.

Amazon
When you’re anxious your heart beats faster, for example, putting a greater strain on your cardiovascular system. This isn’t usually a problem, but in some circumstances it can be dangerous or even fatal. Natural disasters such as earthquakes sometimes kill as many people from heart attacks as from falling rubble. Trials show that during invasive medical procedures such as breast biopsies or destruction of tumors, people who feel negative or anxious beforehand suffer more complications (things like prolonged lack of oxygen, low or high blood pressure, post-operative bleeding or an abnormally slow heart rate). Relaxation techniques such as visualizing a safe place vastly reduce pain and anxietyduring these procedures—as well as the rate of adverse events.
Feeling stressed can also have physical consequences on the gut. If we’re unhappy with toilet arrangements we might not go for days, whereas facing a challenge such as an exam or competition can cause us to empty our bowels. These processes exacerbate conditions such as IBS, and trials show that gut-focused hypnotherapy, which teaches patients to tackle stress and calm their digestive system—is a highly effective treatment. A course of such hypnotherapy reduces the sensitivity of the gut to pain, and while hypnotized, patients can alter their rate of gut contractions, something that we can’t normally do at will.
Third, stress triggers a branch of the immune system called inflammation: the body’s first line of defense against infection or injury. This is useful in an emergency but if triggered long-term by chronic stress, it disrupts healthy immune responses and eats away at the body’s tissues, making us more susceptible to infections, allergies, and auto-immune disease. And that doesn’t just mean eczema flareups or a few extra colds. Through its effects on the immune system, stress has also been shown to accelerate the progression of life-threatening conditions such as multiple sclerosis and HIV. Research into whether interventions that reduce stress can reverse these changes is only just beginning, but there’s some preliminary evidence that stress-management therapy can stall progression in MS, and that mindfulness meditation may slow HIV.
There’s even evidence that the mind plays a role in cancer. Inflammation clears damaged cells and promotes the growth of new blood vessels, which is useful for wound healing but also gives tumors the space and food supply they need to grow. In animal studies, stress hormones make a range of cancers spread faster, while patient trials suggest that stress-management interventions reduce inflammation, although the jury is still out on whether this feeds through into improved survival times.
Even if reducing stress doesn’t directly affect survival in cancer, however, there are other ways in which psychological approaches can improve physical prognosis. If easing the fatigue and nausea caused by chemotherapy helps someone stick to their treatment regime, it can improve survival. Meanwhile, social support helps patients to make better decisions. In one study, terminal cancer patients offered early palliative care chose to receive less aggressive treatment. They were less depressed, had a better quality of life—and they lived longer.
The mind can’t heal everything, and to reject physical treatments for life-threatening conditions is dangerous and misguided. But it’s clear that our mental state does have wide-ranging physiological effects that can affect health in many different ways, and which are relevant even to the most serious conditions such as cancer, multiple sclerosis, and HIV.
Skeptics are right to warn of exaggerated claims in mind-body medicine. But denying the role of the mind has its own risks. It pushes people—particularly those with direct experience of how it can help—away from science and toward the crackpot explanations of alternative therapists. And it blinds us to insights that could be hugely important for medicine. In Cure, I argue that we need to combine both approaches: to care for patients’ bodies and their minds.

Jo Marchant
author of Cure: A Journey into the Science of Mind over Body